Independence

Hmm so i was in the shower today and I got to thinking, haha i like thinking in the shower for some reason. Anyways i got to thinking about why i do stuff and other such stuff. You know like thinking about why i want a girlfriend, why i want to drive, why i wanna get a job. And from my mental excercise i have come to the conclusion that it is all because of independence.

Independence means that you have your freedom, you can do whatever you want and can be a sort of measure of how mature you are. I think from what i have been thinking it's all about wanting my independence. I think that i've just been thinking that maybe if i can do this i'll be able to be independent, to be mature.

Having a relationship with someone shows that your able to care about others, your able to like who you want. i've realized, though, that i don't need that kind of stuff, it'll probably just complicate things, not make it better. And getting rushed into that kind of stuff just shows how immature I am.

Driving a car, however, and getting a job would be great for my strive towards independence. It means i can uphold some responsibility and management skills. If my parents get my insurance and i learn to drive stick then hopefully it'll be beneficial towards my goal of maturity.

Of course I can't rush this, I know i can't, I still need my parents for a lot of things. They've done so much for me and I can't become fully independent, I still need them for money and gas and food, but still they have been kind of sheltering me. I really just need to experience a little bit more of the world, a little more life experience would help me a lot.

Yeah hopefully i'll be getting a job over the summer, take some classes at miramar, and stay with my volunteering services. If I was able to do all this on my own, including getting my own transportation, I would feel like I was able to get a little more independent, away from depending on my parent's help.

Wow that was kind of serious huh? haha i don't really like to talk serious but kind of got an epiphany haha. Anyways yeps still waiting on getting insured so i can drive haha, hopefully it'll be soon cause i'm really itching to drive on my own, again some more independence i'm trying to get. haha yeps yeps hope you had fun reading, see you next time.